Thursday, 9 February 2012

48. Subjectivity and objectivity.



Did you know that, you are not what you think you are? Wow. That is interesting. Its always the mind or thought that keeps us trapped to think we are something this or else that or  whatever  we are.
We have many ideas of what we are. The nearest of them being- I am the sentience that can see, hear, feel etc etc and think, personal to this body. A thought says so.  Then there is what others think of us. Hindu, Lawyer, Doctor, shopkeeper  etc. This is what we think ourselves to be, by enforcing, what we want others to think about ourselves.  Of course there are a series of other aspects that we become, in front of others, automatically like master, servant, father, son, accused, hero etc.
All these names and adjectives that we give ourselves or those that we shower onto our selves, or what others shower on to us, are in a way, learnt games or imagined roles.
But what are we or am ‘I’ in a basic sense? May be sentience?. In a way, yes. This is the most close quality, that we can associate ourselves to be, other than imagined ‘persons’. How does sentience look like? Is it an entity, a capacity, or what is it.
We imagine that we are a person, with a freewill, able to see, hear, think etc.   We feel ourselves as an entity. A subject that has sentience and can detect an object, like sound, feel, etc. Like some kind of a sensing instrument. So, we make a boundary of a subject trapped within the skin, detecting the world, which is an appearance, outside the skin. Is this true analysis?.
Sentience is a capacity, to feel, the presence and absence of objects. It make be hard objects or thought objects.  It feels limited to one entity, as if each body is sentient and then, when it dies, its sentience has disappeared.  This is how it appears. But it is more than that.
Where do we hear a sound?  We hear it at the source, at the speaker and not inside our skull. That’s the catch. Similarly, where is ‘seeing’  the shape and colour of an object happening?. It happens at the object itself. Not inside our eyeball or the skull.
So this instrument of seeing, seems to be aware of seeing, outside the instrument of seeing, and likewise for hearing. Seeing and hearing is happening even  before the sound or light could reach this body, it is already heard before the ear knows it and even before light could reach the eyeball, its already seen. In any case, if the light reaches the eyeball, we would be seeing light only.  Green light from the tree, brown light from the road, red light from a flower, is not the way, that nature works. Or else, we would be having beams of green light from the tree to your eye and another beam of brown, from the road to the eye. If they crisscross, your seeing would get into trouble.
Sentience is an aspect of life. Life sees ‘at’ the object. Life hears, ‘at’ the source of sound and so on. So the sentience, that we think, we are, is a capacity of sensing and is happening at the object sensed. So sentience is at the object sensed. Sentience itself doesn’t have a body. It is life itself, which has an appearance aspect as object and sense aspect as sentience. It is also called awareness.
There isn’t a word as unaware.  There is an awareness of sensation and absence of sensation. There is awareness of objects or absence of objects, like space, The focus of awareness may seem to shift, from feel to sound, to thought, to dream etc. But awareness is always present. In fact, Awareness or sentience is what we are, that is all pervading.
So, seeing is the see-er of the shape and colour, hearing is the hear-er, of the sound etc. In short, life is the sensor or all visual, audible, and other sensations, that are felt, inside and outside the boundary of the body. In fact the body is itself an object in the seeing.
So the actual subject is ‘life’, in which our own body is an object. In fact ‘life’ sees both objects and makes feel that both are subjects to both and other as objects to both. So it is felt that seeing is from here.  But seeing is ‘at’ the object, hearing is at the sound and so on. So life is all over the place. It is one single life for all objectivity.  Moreover, this body is not doing any seeing and hearing from here. Life is doing this. So subject is life itself. It doesn’t have an objective quality and so cannot be pin pointed as here and there. It is everywhere and nowhere. The  objective quality of the subject can be defined as ‘nothing’, or else, it would be object of another subject knowing that quality. It can be imagined as time, or that which is witnessing a change, a change of shape, a movement, an appearance and disappearance etc. That quality of life, by virtue of which, object seems to appear, is the subjective aspect or subjectivity. So ‘seeing’ is subjectivity. In fact all objects appear in subjectivity. They do not exist, outside of the seeing or subjectivity. This means, the subjective nature of all objects is their knowing, happening at the object itself. There is no object outside of its knowing and there is no knowing, outside of its objectivity. So knowing is the being and being is the knowing, as if subject and object happening together. So there is one knowing of all that is sensed, and that knowing is an aspect of life and not of the body. Even the body is a known to the ‘knowing’.
This knowing, is called, life or I am-ness, which is responsible for the objective appearance of all that there is. Its more like dream, in a sense, that it has no independent existence, apart from the sensing of it. As if it is there only when sensed or else not. Its like a movie screen, on which, different objects are felt or known and cannot exist if the screen were not. Its like time, in which all change is noticed and cannot be known, if time or ‘Now’ were not.
So all existence is the knowing of it and not outside of it. But the knowing of objectivity, can only happen in the ‘now’ because, one cannot know, outside of ‘now’. If fact ‘Now’ is knower of the known, or the see-er of a seeing or a hear-er of sound. ‘Now’ is the subjective nature of  all there is. ‘Now’ has the power to sense or the sentience or life of all there is. Now itself has no objective aspect than all there is. So all there is – is the objective nature of ‘Now’ and ‘Now’ is the subjective nature of ‘all there is’.
So there is ‘now’ and ‘all there is’ and both two aspects of one life, as life spins out forms and knows then in/by the ‘Now’.

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