There is a peculiar relation between ‘life’ and ‘us’. A
virtual relation that gets stronger and stronger by the day and only a miracle
could pierce the virtuality to get a peek into reality. In fact all relations
are like that. It starts with a binding like a thin hook and then gets more and
more stronger like a ship’s anchor and
then makes reality of the ‘you’ that
seems to become the role played by ‘life’ as you. It gets impossible to ‘come out’
of this ‘becoming’ called ‘me’.
What is life. We know life as we are taught about it or in a
context that we use it. If we take a broader context in viewing life, we can
call ‘life’ as all that would be called ‘creation’ and its movement, moment by
moment or simply the play of ‘life’. First the creation- like a flame and then
its movement like a how the flame moves or a ‘dance’. The source of such a
creation that ‘IS’ and moves is ‘life’. It is like the source of the flame.
Call it ‘fire’ if you like. Fire is not only the source but also the appearance
of the flame and has its own way of creating some sort of negative pressure
within it, that allows out side air to be sucked in it, helping it to keep
burning upwards and also to dance in its existence. However all of it is ‘fire’
and its play. All one source and appearance. Likewise, is ‘life energy’, Its
also the appearance and also the movement. Nothing else need be. Appears
because of its to be perceived, creates its own forces that keeps giving a
change to cause its own dance that we ‘feel’ is its aliveness. THIS INCLUDES A ‘YOU’
IN ‘IT’. So in relation to life, ‘you’ are inclusive in it and are ‘of’ it.
Now we go about trying to relate to such ‘life’ from a place
of this individual ‘me’, to get enlightened and to become that ‘life’ that we
are told we actually are. Its easy at the level of understanding that we are
not what we think we are but what ‘we are’ is life. Its difficult in the beginning,
even to think so, but when pondering or
seeking day in and day out, that this ‘we’ is lived and the ‘what’, ‘this we’
must be, is life itself, we come to the end of the road or a place where we desperately
want to let go the feel of an individual me and have the feel of ‘life’ as ‘me’.
Then we don’t know whether we will be able to feel ‘me’ as life or feel the ‘whole
life’ as me. This game goes on for a while, whilst we are desperately trying to come out of the
cocoon of ‘me’ into the butterfly as ‘life’. This ‘trying’ to project ‘a me’ as not an
individual self is also ‘life’ playing a limited ‘me’ trying to wear itself off
as an individual. But the ‘trying’ itself maintains the ‘me’ while trying is
happening, limiting this me as a try-er. The individual effort is what keeps
the ‘scheme’ of ‘me’ alive. This mechanism of trying is what keeps the
separation going on and on. Trying to reach what you desire is the name of the
game of the individuality. Not trying is a also another way to keeping the ‘trial’ alive or to do the ‘not trying’
and so has the same effect.
Life as you and you as life are both the same movement. As
long as you make a personal effort, life becomes personal. As long as you feel
personal, it is ‘life’ behaving as a personal you. ‘You’ cant feel impersonal,
because there is a ‘you’ or a personal ‘you’ trying ‘to do’ this feeling out of choice or free will.
Letting go the ‘you’ or personality is already ‘life’ in its natural state.
Once this is seen, the strength to hold on a ‘position’ as a person becomes
weaker and weaker. As long there is a will to let go, the will itself becomes
weaker which brings about the ‘letting go’ of the ego or the personal self or
the ‘sense of me’.
All along we understand that it is ‘life’ projecting the ‘me’
in ‘itself’ as its content . Now this ‘me’ wants ‘me’ to somehow project ‘me’
as ‘life’. As if I can be something very big as life itself. So we try to be
humble, broadminded, accommodating, saying ‘yes’ to ‘all that is’ etc etc, just
we think ‘life’ should be. It is not possible for a ‘me’ to behave ‘life’ like.
The absence of ‘me’ is ‘life’ already, including and excluding ‘a like’ to make
it ‘life-like’. Its just that, one fine day, ‘you’ wont be there, feeling very
light, not knowing, where and how that part
‘you’ got out of ‘YOU’ or ‘all that there is’. It just gets left behind like a
lizards tails, in total unawareness.
At the peak of seeking, with trust and faith that individual
persons never really existed the way, ‘we’ normally saw and felt the personality
in ourselves and others, the nature or heaviness of individuality begins to get
lighter and lighter until there isn’t a ‘you’ to know that a ‘you’ that was, is
now ‘not’. You wont know when it happened, because when it happens, the you
that is supposed to always be in charge of all knowing that was, itself is gone
missing. Its like a stick churning the burning coal wanting to know, when it
will actually ‘stop’ churning. The stick already became the fire, with no separation
left. So there comes a time when suddenly, there is no judgement, as if there
is ‘no one’ left to judge, or judgement itself is ever happening or not. Then what
is left is ‘life’ or simply the ‘play of life’ of simply ‘play’ or simply THIS.
So hang on, until there is no-one to hang on, and feel the
funniness of ordinariness of how ‘life’ always was, and was ignorantly believed
to be much the other way, being personal, because in its play, being personal
is what kept running the show of this ‘is-ness’ becoming ‘separate me’ and the ‘outside world’. No need
to continue being part of the play from then on, because the play was always
played, by not a you or anyone, but by no-one at all and will continue to play ‘you’
‘as’ personal at times ‘just this’ other times, as the play demands from time
to time, which was always what it did, but now, there is a knowing of it, from
the side that ‘life’ wanted itself to ne known, and that too –‘effortlessly’,
as knowing was always known to be.
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